10 years ago nag break kami ng first gf ko dahil di kami nag work out sa mga differences namin. I made no contact nor update myself about her whereabouts.

Last week, thru a common friend of ours, I learned that my ex got married to her best friend (that she used to say not to be worried about him.) And is now pregnant.

Sudden rush of emotions came at me. Happiness for the life she got. Envy at I used to want that life with her. Anger at I speculate the break up was not just within us pero nakielam ata yung best friend in the first place. I was confused rin sa sarili ko I thought I was over her. Why do I feel these now?

Then I remember yung lumang kasabihan "first love never dies." I guess a young part of me that still clingy to that idea still lives within me.

"Why did it happened? Why not me?" These words kept circling my head for the past days. Di ako maka let go sa isang bagay na akala ko nakamove on na ako. These words feed my envy to the point I cannot concentrate on my work.

It took a week in self wallowing before I got my bearings. Encouragements from my friends and praying helped me reflect hangang sa maalis ko na yung inis sa sarili ko.

I realized that there's first love. And theres the right person. Your first love will leave an impression. But dont let your past trap you. Accept to yourself that you are flawed and grow from it. Do not let envy fill your heart. Defeat it by being happy. Genuine happiness for yourself and others.

To the redditors reading, know that a heartbreak isnt the end. Ourlives might be lonely at times, but I am sure there someone out there for us. All it takes is self confidence... and alot of patience sa dating apps. 😀