I am a member of a fairly popular choir and an official performing group of a university, and can I just say sobrang toxic ng culture ng university choir at least from my experience. I can’t speak for other musical groups pero I also was a trainee in two other choirs in the same university.

Being a university choir, almost all of us members are FULL TIME students with a 7AM to 5PM schedule and we are required to attend rehearsals twice to thrice a day that becomes almost everyday when there’s competition or concert. Mind you, this has no bearing at all on our academics, and despite being an official performing group, we do not get benefits at all (e.g. priority during enrollment of subjects, allowance or stipend). In my case, I really just joined because I love to sing with a group. Pero I decided to leave kasi sobrang toxic talaga.

Toxic na nga yung process before becoming a member (yes, you have to undergo a rigorous training process that lasts about a year) to enjoy the “benefits” of becoming a member, andaming required na kabisaduhing piyesa (about 50 songs) na kailangan mong ipa-check at most three times each song, kailangan mong kumuha ng medical certificate kapag aabsent ka at kung naka-exceed ka ng number of absences, gagawin kang inactive tapos may ipapakabisado nanamang piyesa sayo, kailangan laging naka-prepare yung make up tapos walang konsiderasyon sa mainit na panahon at mga nagc-commute lang (bawal pumunta sa call time ng hindi naka make up), during rehearsal dapat kabisado mo na yung piyesa tapos magiging passive aggressive sila sayo pag hindi ( hindi na nga ako maka-focus sa academics at readings ko), at kung ano ano pang katoxican.

Malala pa, this is supposed to be a student choir pero meron pa ring mga alumni na nags-stay for God knows why. Ayaw pa magsialis kahit angtatanda na, kaya kung ano yung culture na kinalakihan nila noong bagong member palang sila ay napperpetuate pa rin. Nakakainis pa kasi may hierarchy system na sila yung importante (or paimportante). Kapag may mga formation sila lagi ang nasa harap at gitna. Kapag may mga solo yung mga piyesa, sa kanila lagi binibigay. Nagmimistula na lang talaga ako o kaming mga background singers. Shit, maswerte pa nga kung mapili ka as personnel kasi kung hindi gagawin ka nilang runner, taga itbit ng gamit, or usher. I could talk about how ableist this group is towards mentally diagnosed people but that’s for another day.

I know being a performer is hard and pero in my opinion sobrang inhumane ng sistema nila. When I watch other choirs sa youtube, mukha silang nag-eenjoy sa pagkanta. Me? I don’t find joy in singing anymore. Nag-sign up ako para kumanta. At para mai-share yung talent ko sa pagkanta sa mga may interes din. Hindi ako nag-sign up para alipinin.