Today, as I (F23) took the train during sunset, I just realized that among most guys I’ve been with, I only experienced sleeping at a guy’s place without being taken advantage of once. I would always hear guys tell me, “I’m a friend.” But they eventually do something to me, especially when they figure out how easy & dumb I am. Most only happened once because I would stop interacting after we happen, others successfully make me fall for more until someone comes to my life again.

Although I no longer have a crush on him, I still admire the respect & gentleness he showed me, without making it feel like love bombing. And I didn’t feel bummed waking up, I was thankful.

I was 21 when I had a crush on him. So nung nagkayayaan ng inuman with our friends at his place after class, I agreed immediately. I was used to something sexual happening whenever I get drunk & around someone I like, just like most people nowadays. So it was one of my intentions.

Regardless, I’m still also the kind of gal who lets the guy make the first move kahit gaano ako ka-attracted; I also get very sleepy & careless pag nakainom. It was past 11PM already & our friends started to leave one by one until only us two were remaining— but it’s his place. He did insist for me to stay since malayo pa ako & he knows I’m not a gala.

We had lugaw, smoked cigarettes at his terrace, got a bit high with his thumb-sized glass container thing that has a slightly yellowish liquid in it— it was my first try. He has two bedrooms, but we both slept at the living room. He took out a single-sized mattress & laid it beside the couch where he slept & while I’m on the mattress, still in my nursing uniform. I tried covering myself with a pillow because of his AC & I’m very lamigin na ayaw mag-complain.

He woke me up at 7AM. I caught him looking at me before telling me “Gising na.” We had a small breakfast from the left overs, a coffee, & got ready for school. And yes, I had to reuse my uniform without having it washed because since it was already late, the laundry was closed. He just helped to steam iron it while I took a bath. We took the train & attended our classes on time.

Luckily, I didn’t stink. I asked some of my classmates (any gender) to sniff me & to give an honest answer, before telling them I didn’t wash it. HAHAHAHA “Hindi ka naman kasi mabaho, either amoy perfume ka or walang amoy.” 🥹