Dapat tulog na ako but here I am, trying to shrug off these thoughts in my head. I feel like kaka go with the flow ko on many different things, ako yung naligaw. I feel lost if nasa tamang current ba ako or yung mga ginagawa ko ba ngayon may patutunguhan? I feel lost with building up connections with people na later on I could feel will be gone din naman. It is just so hard to feel things deeply or care for people around you too much tapos at the end of the day I am here alone and realize na none of those people you interact with really cares nor thinks of you. Sometimes ayoko na lang makaramdam. I wanted to feel numb from everything. Ayoko maging masaya sa maliliit na bagay kasi I know makakaramdam din ako ng lungkot or disappointments sa maliliit na bagay. I wanted to shut down these thoughts but I just can’t, whenever I closes my eyes this brain is really fucking up with me.

Gusto ko na lang talaga matulog.