I recently grew a special kind of interest sa virtual kalandian ko. We are both aware of each other’s issues in the beginning. Ako, emotionally unavailable. Siya, actively and patiently waiting for her special someone na maging available and gawing priority na ang magjowa.

We have a long distance between us. So we do every jowa privileges online. We go on dates sometimes (lol once pa lng nmn to nangyare ata). We listen to podcasts. We co-work. My favorite part is we talk — like really talk about stuff, about life. It got me. I dig the kind of relationship where you can openly voice out whatever you have on your mind to a very accepting and honest receiver. Yung hndi nappnta sa argument. Yung hndi napupunta sa away. I love conversations.

So while it was clear na yung intention namin is to just landi, ang ate mo gorl nagkakaron na ata ng gusto kay virtual jowa.

Eh si virtual jowa ay may bebeng araw araw na minamahal from a distance. Hahaha. 🥲 Also, tbh, I am not really sure pa din nmn na kaya ko na ulit pumasok sa relationship. And sa lagay na ganto, sobrang hndi ideal to get in to a relationship.

It sucks lang na i feel this good and i feel i like her pero i cant have her. And hndi lang yon dahil sa may iba syang bebe. It is also because i am not ready despite knowing full well na i could take better care of her.

Nakakainis. Nakakapikon. Haha. Bakit kasi kahit ano gawin ko to not complicate things, may own way yung nature to complicate it. Gusto ko lang nmn lumandi with peace. Bat nmn bglang may feelings tyong naffeel? Hahaha.