it was just this year that i came out to my family. i didn't even do it voluntarily instead my sister snooped thru my phone and saw a bunch of private shit which led to my UNEXPECTED "coming out" story. i've never felt so violated. nonetheless, i tried to let things slide and even opened up about the girl that i'm talking to.

next thing you know one thing led to another, the girl that i was with, our relationship went downhill. i had my old traumas and scars resurfaced because of the shit she did. she's been mind fucking me crazy. now, that we've ended things. i still tried to make everything civil considering of the shit that we've been through. everything is just casual now.

just this morning, my sister has been NON-STOP teasing me and kept mentioning the girl's name saying things like "kamusta na si *mentions the girl name*" or "kailan mo siya ipapakilala" or she even addresses me by the girl's name for the sake of getting my attention. everytime she fucking does that grabe putangina na-trigger talaga anger issues and traumas ko. i've told her upfront to stop mentioning her name and even calling her because we're not already together. alam mo yon pag sinasabi pa ng sister ko super nakakainis as in its the way she fucking says it. minsan gusto ko nalang sumabog kase na trigger ako and na-hurts me kase hahhahahaa. i hate how she can't understand na ganon. i used to have anger issues pero i was able to control it and super calm ko na na-tao ngayon. pero she's testing me talaga, and it takes a LOT OF FUCKING BRAINPOWER TO CALM DOWN ESP IF THEY'RE DOING IT INTENTIONALLY.

p.s sorry for the wrong grammars or whatever. i typing this while trying to fucking calm down. thank you.