Most redditors are unhealed. I do get it since I’ve been in that position too. Progress is linear. Healing is linear. Im not saying you need to fully heal before dating and meeting someone else, as healing takes time and even years to do that. But at least take an ample amount of time to heal and be ready for the next person you date. Don’t use someone else to fill the void in you. Be complete first on your own, so it won’t be unfair for the other, who only wants growth and love in the relationship they’re pursuing. Don’t ask them to date you if you’re still unsure of what you want. Whether your type and preference in dating. Don’t ask them to date you if you’re still hung up with your pasts, like letting your ex be still in your present life, still talking to your ex-fwb, or posting on social media that you still miss the last person you date before them only proves the baggages you have. Telling your current date not to worry about your ex-partner but rather about the person you date before them is also far worse. While some people work hard to feel secure in who they are and the connection they desire, others foster uncertainty and unease in dating. Instead of being curious about your present date and asking them questions about themselves, you’re just making them your diary. There are individuals out there who took the effort to heal before dating so they wouldn’t hurt others and wouldn’t bring their past situations or mistakes to the present. So please be mindful of the people you’re hurting too, because you’re bringing another trauma to them. Don’t hurt other people because you’re hurt; that’s just so messed up. People are not bandages; they’re humans. Act on compassion, not just view it.