I'm a femme/lipstick lesbian. I look girly, but I have a boyish personality in some aspects. I've always been attracted to soft butch and other lipstick lesbians, not the hard butch types, but I never expected to develop feelings for a straight woman. She's my newest close friend and we could have been best buds. We met last year at work. We share the same sense of humor, we're both 'kalog,' malakas tumawa, we're both foodies, and we have meaningful conversations. However, one night, I found myself becoming attracted to her. Seeing her sleek arms and those fine curves made me feel aroused. Initially, I was confused about my feelings, but she remained constantly on my mind. She has red flags that I found hard to tolerate, but every time I see her, my heart melts. Bit by bit, I started showing gestures that I knew she would notice. Fast forward, I confessed my feelings even though I knew what her answer would be. She's straight. She enjoys my company but she's never imagined herself being with a woman. Lately, I've been keeping my distance from her, and for one petty reason na nangyari 2 weeks ago. Yes nagtatampo ako. It's shallow. Lol. But I suppose I've already found a reason to move on na rin. Although I know she's sensitive enough to sense my topak and the reason behind it. She was trying to engage with me, which is why I'm a bit confused if she's making an effort for me to notice her again, or if she's just being nice. Anyway, I think this would be better for me. I'm not sure if it's the best move, but maybe I'm just starting to let go of the idea that we could be together. I hope she finds the best man who won't hurt her. Kasi ako, hindi ko siya sasaktan. M, mahal kita.