I am a seaman (29M) working in a cruise line as a receptionist. Our contract is usually 8 months away from home and may vacation na 1.5 months.

I’m outgoing and has a lots of group of friends. Each group, I have this ‘constant’ that I can say that we have a solid bond.

Pero ang hirap pala pag malayo ka sa kanila no? I went back to PH last Nov-Dec and met all of my group of friends, pero I am feeling left out. Even my ‘constants’ doesn’t feel constant anymore, there is already this small gap that even though we all say that nothing has changed, ramdam kong meron talaga. Some of these feelings, they are already closer to someone within that group since they have this inside jokes in the group that I don’t know or topics na naiiwanan talaga ako.

Jealous? Yes. Am I mad? No.

I am sad. I’m thinking if I lacked giving the effort to keep up with them or it is just the way it is na pag malayo ka, medjo mapapagiwanan ka talaga.

Haaay.