I miss my old self, my persona from 2021 before my life turned 360. As context, I'm a Bisexual Man, 22, and I constantly need to prove myself to everyone around me because they're expecting so much. I'm currently a graduating student and people are expecting me to graduate with latin honors but I think this one major subject will fuck me up.

In 2021, I was this ball of good energy but because of unforeseen events, I've changed. In my personal life, I lost a loved one, we sold our ancestral house, I became the absorber of all emotions since I needed to be strong. In my love life, I've dated quite a lot and committed to a few, my last relationship of March 2022 left me so traumatized. Most of the guys I dated met their long time partners after our relationship and makes me question myself if I'm just there to be another character development or to build them for other people.

Grabe lang kasi after that relationship, I was so scared to commit kasi baka masaktan ulit ako pero naniniwala ako na never ako matatakot magmahal ulit kaya susugal ako anytime I had a chance. Kasi that relationship, I was so pure, I was so loving, nurturing, pero napagod ako, pinagod niya ako. Isang beses lang ako napagod sa 6 na buwan namin na magkasama pero sa isang beses na yon sinukuan na niya ako and that's how I realized that maybe during that time it was time to let go of something hurting me.

This 2024, I want to create my own story where I don't please people anymore and a story where I get to have a happily ever after.