I just want to get this off my chest since I dont really have anyone to talk to. No, I guess I do have some people but dont know how to reach out to them.

I also know that there are people who truly thinks that I am their friend. However, it is I who can't truly think of them as friends. I dont know why but for the longest time, all I have ever known is to distance myself from other people. Never letting anyone get into my inner circle, always pleasing others so that they would look at me favorably, trying too hard to live up to whatever fabricated image I may have projected to them, and being scared of what they think of me.

There were a few times when I actually opened up to people, thinking that they'll help me navigate through my thoughts and emotions. Instead, I get people who either double downs on me or sees me as a pain in the ass.

(I guess Im just extremely affected by the drama I am watching at the moment. Once Im done with this, things will be back on how it used to be. Always remember, no can save you from your loneliness except yourself.)