I liked everything about her. Her smile. Her mind. Her scars. Pero may isang bagay na nihindi ko magawa for her. She has a very high sex drive. And I cant go all the way for her.

Dont get me wrong, parang nalulungkot ako when it happens. Minsan gusto ko lang syang makasama, akbayan, o kahit simpleng holding hands while may hawak na kape, lakad lakad at nagkukwentuhan. Pero she just cant stop trying to get into my pants. And its frustrating me. Napagusapan na namin yun, na gusto ko ng genuine connection between the two of us. With trust and confidence sa isat isa. With deeper connection and vulnerability. And I just cant go and have sex with someone I dont really feel connected. She says she cant stop thinking of sucking my d or even riding it. But all I can feel everytime she says it e malungkot. I want to bring her to beautiful places, to buy her flowers, write her poems, have cute little coffee dates, play with our cats, sleep together, watch our favorite movies, play cool games. Pero she just cant stop saying she wants me in bed.

Lalaki rin naman ako. I get aroused, i have needs. Pero gusto ko kasi talaga ng relationship na beyond that. I want a genuine connection that makes us think this lifetime will never be enough for our love. And maybe after that sex will feel like a freedom in the universes of our kisses and hugs.

To S, sorry if I cant be the guy you want me to be. Im truly sorry.