for context: i dropped out during midterms, last semester due to personal reasons.

now that im back in uni again, parang na overwhelm ako ulit. aside from having 0 friends since i got ousted from my friend group running into them from time to time, im also having a hard time grasping this major subject sa program ko. it's like idk what im doing AT ALL. so my anxiety is at an all time HIGH whenever im at school.

parang na realize ko na it's not my time to finish my degree for now. but the thing is, my taning na yung "student" life ko. this might be the last time im going to be a student since my dad wouldn't be able to pay my studies since my bagong family na siya (another trauma lol)

but at the same time, im envious whenever i see students wearing their uniforms (di pa kasi natapos uyung uni ko lol) so parang na mo-motivate ako to go to class.. but right now? parang gusto ko mag send ng course withdrawal or leave of absence kase parang di ko pa kaya bumalik 🙃

speaking of my major subject, eto talaga yung top 2 anxiety-inducing shit na nagpa-pa trigger sakin. basically it's a Research class AND I HATE RESEARCH KASE BOBO TALAGA AKO 😭. and i feel like ako yung pabigat nung group namin kasi mangmang talaga ako when it comes to these things.

i honestly don't know what to do right now. parang i want to ghost everyone once again just like what i did last semester. ayoko na 🥲