It has been months na nagmumukmok lang ako. I feel so lonely and that I have no one but myself. Yes, I am independent, but there are times na pakiramdam ko kailangan ko rin ng masasandalan. I may be tough on the outside, pero may soft spot naman ako. I just need to build walls because I have no choice. I have to be strong, I have to be resilient, I have to be tough.

My friends see me as a strong independent woman and that people are intimidated by me. I have a resting bitch face which is normal.

These past few months, I needed someone to talk to, to open up to, pero I feel alone. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako mag-o-open up kasi I am used to being alone and solving my problems or dwelling on them on my own. Whenever someone is offering help, I kinda refuse kasi di ko alam paano tatanggapin yun tulong na ibinibigay nila. Kahit pa independent ako, I wish to be taken cared of. Ako na lang kasi lagi yun nag-aalaga at umiintindi. Ang hirap maging selfless.

Kaso kapag nagtiwala ako and nagbaba ng walls, they will take advantage of me and abuse me. Haaaay.. Nasa akin na kasi talaga ang pagiging caring and selfless. I always put others before me. Hirap!