It's been a while since I've posted about my friend whom I've had a thing with.

It was just recently that I've realized that I've missed a clue that could've made a difference in our "relationship" before.

Backstory: So, I've had this guy friend whom I have met and we just instantly clicked. We share the same interests, same perspectives, same sentiments about things.

There was never a dull moment when we were together and it's amazing to feel something like that under a year of being friends. But we had boundaries, we had limitations. I wouldn't go so much into detail but that prevented us to have a relationship.

The moment I knew he had feelings for me, I knew I had to let go.

A typical night for us would be me under the sheets and him tinkering with his gadgets. A new drone, a new gimbal, a new rolling toy for his cats.

One time during a storm, we were piss drunk, we flew his drone just because we wanted to and we knew that was such a bad idea but we did. We laughed so hard while frantically finding his drone amongst broken tree branches like we had shrooms.

We were happy. It was amazing.

But there was one time, amongst the limited occurrences that we were together, that he chose to just chill and he played with his guitar. He had some custom pedals done and typical fashion was him testing them out while I was there.

We've shared such a special bond, that he named a guitar after me. But he had to let it go. Took a while for him to sell it, twas after a year or two.

The one he was holding that time, tuning it, while he sat on the floor was a guitar he named after me. It was blue, of a specific shade. That when a girl sees it in box form, she'd know she's gonna get something good.

I was in bed, he was just strumming, plucking those strings.

He played different stuff. Some tunes that reminded me of Japanese cherry blossoms and the serene mountainside. Some tunes that reminded me of 90s sitcoms.

He even played a song from Scott Pilgrim Vs The World which made me giggle.

Then he played a song. A song I vaguely remember.

It's funny because during that time I wasn't really paying attention to what he was playing since I was already tipsy, but I did record a video of everything. I was in his bed, as I held a can of ice cold beer, taking a video of his "performance". I have a very sharp memory and the alcohol hindered me from remembering so.

At that time, I didn't know what song he played. But I knew it was something special because I only remembered the last part: he stood up, kissed me, and we had another round.

It was a 17-minute video Ive always kept on my phone. I've never really watched the whole thing. I just kept it. I didn't know that the last part of it was so significant, I just didn't feel like I had to watch everything.

Oh how vivid those memories were yet that part was unclear and I was reminded of them recently when I was scrolling through the videos in my phone that dated back two, three years ago or more.

I played the video of him. I played the video, all 17-minutes long.

Cover photo was him in his hoodie, holding his guitar, on the floor next to his pedals.

I heard myself giggling in the video, us having that playful banter.

He was soft spoken, and when he's into something, he just zones out.

After fooling around with his guitar, playing random stuff. He took a deep breath and he tuned his guitar again.

And then, he said, and I can't believe I've missed it, he then said...

This song reminds me of you...

And to my surprise, and it never occurred to me that he played me that song. That song that was his subtle way of telling me he had feelings for me.

The intro was already familiar.

Best Part -- Daniel Caesar featuring H.E.R.

When that part played, I heard him sing a bit of it... I stopped playing the video for a bit. I became teary-eyed. I was hurting, shaking my head, and I laughed.

I honestly didn't know what to feel. I played the video again. Turned the volume up and he was quietly singing to it, looking at me and smiling.

The whole time I was quiet. I don't know why. I don't know if I was happy or sad, but I was quiet.

He finished the song.

He then gets up, puts his guitar down, I apparently put my phone down on the bed, because all you can see was the ceiling and I heard kissing and the video ends with a glimpse of his hand on the screen.

It makes my heart ache, to be perfectly honest,

That this guy was basically telling me he likes me and I just found out, I just realized years after.

I don't know, maybe we were drunk as hell that's why I can't remember everything. Why didn't I bother to watch the video when I had the chance before?

We saw each other a few times more after that. Nothing changed, as I look back. He cooked for me, he was excited about my hair, he was looking forward to seeing me... every... damn... time.

If only I knew about it, I wouldn't be so freaked out when I woke up to him brushing my hair off of my face because he was watching me sleep.

I wouldn't have thought to end things with him but I guess it was for the better?

It's been years, and I can still hear his laughter when I remember how I used to tease him. How we rubbed our feet against each other underneath his grey fuzzy blanket. How we've shared McDonald's even after we've discussed how bad fastfood is.

But I guess, it all worked out well.

He'd already tied the knot, and I'm happy where I am and who I'm with.

It's just sad that I've missed the "Best Part".