Truth to be told, I do not see myself being in a relationship yet. Oo namimiss ko magkaroon ng jowa especially I feel I am mature and ready for it. But due to life's circumstances, I feel that there is really a lot of things I need to address before I can best commit and be with someone special.

This feeling of melancholy has been harrowing me for weeks. Kagabi, I was having dinner, and all of a sudden, my eyes would turn full of tears. When waiters would ask me pang-ilanan ang table, I would always say, "ako lang". This drains me too, feeling alone and lonely, yet I always remind myself I should be grateful for where I am today - having a decent job with good income, good family. I barely have friends who I can contact with now since all of them are married and with family. At 35 you tell yourself you are still young but f*;"( the world is like having all their families except you. How do you put yourself away from these presshres?

I stopped attending weddings, and family reunions for the fact that I want to preserve some self-respect and move myself away from being asked - "bakit wala ka pang jowa? bakit wala ka pang pamilya, puro ka career, mag-asawa ka na?", or during weddings where I feel, all my friends have their own lives now. A close friend of mine is getting married this year and I even told her, "ikaw na plrase ang last na wedding na pupuntahan ko".

I don't know really what I am feeling for the past weeks. I am sure I am not the only single person in this room and would love to hear your thoughts how you survive and thrive at this time. Cheers!