when we first started dating, i had just got out of a toxic relationship two months prior. my guy best friend admitted feelings to me and i shut him but i felt extremely bad about it. i cheated on my boyfriend with him because i didnt know what i was doing at the time and gave into pressure. i regretted it deeply but didnt tell him for three months because i hadn't come to terms with myself. eventually he knew and by that time i had already fallen deeply in love with him and he fell deeply in love with me. (i had already learned from my mistakes and owned up to them every way i could)

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anyways, im crazily in love with him. i want to marry. and have a kid with him. he says he forgives me and that he loves me too but he's been off lately and i dont know what to do.

i feel crazy for this but i have a 'yandere bloodlust' i'm extremely protective and possessive of him. i don't want any other girl to feel the way i do for him. i do everything i can for him and i treat him the best i possibly can. when he's not around i get dangerously sad and suicidal until i see him again. he's the love of my life. making love to him is the best because i can tell him how amazing his body is and how much i love. i would do anything for him. id even die for him ... he's my baby boy... no one else's ... he's mine. no matter what. blep.