It's been so long since someone has seen my darkest side and it gets ever So lonely by itself in my head.

It's been so long since I've let my emotions free and it gets so heavy gathering in my heart

It's been forever since I have been allowed to love fully and endlessly completely insanely and it's getting so hard to keep it contained

It's been so long since I was sane but if I had someone to dance in madness and told me it was okay not to be contained

To release the insane chaos and call it love

To embrace each other and share darkness because both of us are addicted

To twisted affection,

Obsessive attention

And the warm feel of intimacy and care.

both of our hearts racing faster than the speed of light because we don't know how to regulate our feelings we just know how to feel in its entirety

Love always just a game that we play in Free falling

And God do we fall way too hard and fast

Because for us love is not slow and gentle

ever so sweet and kind

It is not soft, it is not tender, it is not tended to with sunshine and dreams or anything that is mundane, logical, or orderly

it does not take time for us to feel love

That's for people with sane minds,

Those with human hearts that are untainted by pure chaos and blacken insanity

Whose hearts have not been distorted or twisted

whose dark thoughts remain in the back of their mind

only sometimes surfacing

instead of running through their veins

pumping through their hearts

their blood toxic sinister and corrupt.

Our love

not the love of humans

but the love of goblins and ghouls

nightmares that still have hearts

and

broken individuals that still remember how to walk with fragmented smiles

Our love is intense

It is wild and chaotic

and ever so messy

It is difficult hard and rough  and constantly climbing

It is a struggle

that constantly feels good to have

It is affection

more intense than fire, heat, or the sun

It is attention

more constant and more present than breathing air into your lungs

It is care

so drastically integrated into our system that it takes up a piece of ourselves and sew it into our love

Our love is obsessive

to the point of madness

we are drawn into addiction so deeply that It cannot be cured

and the only other choice is withdrawal

but we would never survive that because all we ever want is more.

our love is grown through shared darkness and open hearts ready to burn

It is grown by mutual secrets

and clingy hearts that only needs each other to cling to

and feed their insatiable hunger for affection and intimacy.

It is grown through the love of our darkest parts

love of each other is the darkest parts

Acceptance of each other's toxic nature

Not ignorance,

not toleration,

not turning a blind eye to their toxic nature

but acceptance

Which is so much more than just seeing it and being like it exists

It is diving into it

not just one-sidely

but diving into each other

diving so deeply and holding our breath for so long

that we can reach each other's heart

and

make it so that our toxic nature doesn't mean anything anymore

It is learning to stabilize each other when we become unstable

Simply being their

Existing for each other even when we don't know what to do

when everything becomes too heavy.

Standing there in the dark

when neither of us can see.

Our love grows through

open soul

with each word, we say being true

carrying pieces of ourselves

torn from Who We Are.

but only to our love

open to them and close to the world

Letting them see our heart, our demons,

and the cracks that we carry.

Letting them see what we are

while we pretend to be human to the rest of the world.

it is grown by bad days

not good days.

Terrible awful days where we need to lean on each other.

where we have to show our worst side to each other

and

know that the center of our world will be there.

It is days when we are ugly and hideous and absolutely sinister

but still loved and still allowed to show affection.

It is not happy days that grow our love.

It is days so unbearable that we are unable to breathe

and we have someone willing to take deep breaths

and push it into our lungs

So we can keep on going that

what grows our love.

Our love is grown through our darkest moments.

The chaotic energy of Life, the madness and Insanity of the things that are broken

and

letting someone walk through our nightmares holding hands

and walking through theirs.

And do not call our love

The love of my people of those similar to me

The love of monsters and beasts

Of madmen and insane women

The love of people's hearts who are way too big to be human

and

yet don't have enough room to contain all of the affection that they produce

Do not call that love fake just because

It comes fast, hard, and reckless

because the moment we fall in love it is a flame that does not stop burning

until there is nothing left to burn

or

until something puts it out leaving nothing but dust and ashes.

When we fall in love it exists until the moment we are dead

and even then it will not guarantee that that love has stopped beating

or

When our love is killed smashed and crush leaving nothing left of it.

Our love continuously grows non-stop continuously moving forward the more we learn about the person we love.

the more they open up to us and the more we open up to them.

our love does not stop.

Our love does not know what it means to fade.

it Is deeply familiar with growth.

It does not disappear, it only grows and becomes stronger.

it evolves into something new,

never ending,

always obsessing

over the person that we have fallen in love with.

until the day we are dead or our love killed by them.

Our love is endless

Even one-sided it does not stop

Our love only wants to see their happiness

and wants to see them happy

cheering them on even when it

hurts and we are broken, and we are shattered

we continue to love you that love burning through our veins until we are worn out.

We continue to love until our heart can take no more abuse and that love dies

until it completely starves

lacking the affection and attention that it's so desperately needed to survive.

Yet even when our love dies we never stop caring about that person.

Do not call our love fake

Because our love is more intense.

Because our love is stronger.

Because our love is more emotional more intimate.

It is harder to get rid of

And endure so much more.

Because our  love is more passionate

And caring.

Because our love is so much more than

the love seen in movies or storybooks.

It is so much more than

what people want to call genuine love.

So much more than

the mundane kind of love.

It is a special kind of psychotic overwhelming love.

That is direct, true, and transparent.

It is the type of love that exists in my heart when I fall in love

It is

It is the love of those who love in that way

It is my love

It is the love that I crave

It is the love that I will always give

It is to live with that I wish for and desire