The bitter taste of tannins still lingers on my tongue.

No way dispense of it, hence the antidepressants

given when bereft of unlucky, mangled essence,

when you let me go. One knows and expects, that it stung.

Shaped like a shedding burr to which I needlessly clung,

to be guided in the night by your fluorescence.

I’d hoped you couldn't undo sure coalescence,

so I chased you, as I was merely naive and young

How merely time and distance shifts the heart's feelings far.

An old reflection didn't think I’d make it past,

nor to hoist myself up to the brightest, boiling star.

Trudging depths, I had no choice but to remain steadfast

No more do I wonder just how far you truly are.

I’ve made it from fire to ash, to hoist this clean mast.

Context: I'd like to workshop the poem, especially the flow and rhythm. I aimed to follow the Petrarchan sonnet, in rhyme scheme, structure (octet sestet), but deviated in that I used a 13-syllable structure for thematic reasons (unluckiness) with no fixed meter to follow syllabic verse instead. Would love to have some comments, even if brief!

Feedback:

You taught me how to hate someone by /u/_NinjaMan777_

Untitled poem walking in pain by /u/fernfornow99