In all of my years, I've wasted so much time worrying about countless obsessions (you name it, I've had it). I've been utterly convinced that I've had AIDS, ALS, many different cancers, schizophrenia (the list goes on). I've had bouts of religious OCD, harm OCD, POCD, etc. So much of my life has been spent in fear of the "what ifs," and convinced that my deepest fears were true.

The irony is that three months ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. Actual cancer. Not imagined. I've lost much of my life so deep in worry. Days that I could have been more present with my husband and kids, and days that I could have gone outside and done something with my healthy, able body. Now many of my days are spent at home, sick from the chemo pumping through my veins.

I have hope that my cancer can be cured. I am thankful for that. But I will now forever have to live with the fear of recurrence (anywhere between 10-30% chance) and if that happens, it will likely be terminal. This fear isn't imagined like all my worries of the past. It's real. It will be difficult adjusting to this knowledge.

Where do I go from here? I'm determined not to waste any more time worried about the "what ifs." I want to be here, to be present, and to not waste any more of my precious life. I wish that I could apply this logic to my OCD and that it would disappear, but I know it's not that simple. Reaching out to someone for help is step one.

Have any of you had success in dealing with your own OCD? Any suggestion would be helpful.

Genuine wishes of happiness and health to you all. OCD sucks.