IM JUST KINDA RAMBLING HERE IM SORRY: I have what I hope and think is false memory OCD (I will not go into detail about the specifics), but over the past few days, I’ve tried to embrace all possibilities and not be afraid, and while it was progress, that lead me to be temporarily convinced and that scared me shitless, although this time I was more numb so yaaay progress :3. Now- as of late I’ve started Prozac and so I’ve been having vivid dreams, three of them being nightmares revolving around this event (the first one while I was in the hypnopompic stage of sleep, so I thought it was an actual memory for a bit and was scared shitless). The second nightmare was different but even though I was more aware it was a nightmare, I was more terrified because it felt more vivid and my OCD was telling me that these were just flashbacks of repressed memories of me doing something awful. I had the first nightmare again tonight and it felt extremely real as they often do, but after five minutes of waking up, I was able to shake it off and recognize it for what it is instead of ruminating on it all day. That combine with the fact that this nightmare is different from the false memory I was having over the past few days that I was convinced of is making me ruminate less in general, at least for now. There’s still that sense of dread that I’ll all come back, but for now, I feel a weight off my shoulders amid making extremely tough but necessary progress over the past few days.