TW: suicide

It’s been a few weeks since I had this strange dream about me being extremely depressed and wanting to take my life. In the dream, i just kept on thinking about how I wanted to not be here anymore and how i wanted to end it all and similar sentiments. I remember that i was going to walk off the side of a bridge I was walking on.

I woke up from the dream confused if it was reality or not. And ever since that dream, I’ve been having thoughts about what if I do want to end it and hearing “i want to die” repeat in my head. It has been tormenting me every day every minute, because of course, these thoughts go against what I believe as my OCD does. I have a lot of blessings in my life and things to look forward to.

I want these thoughts to just stop, so I thought writing them down will help (which usually it does). OCD is such a trickster and a bully :(