I always get intrustive thoughts while masturbating and I normally just push them away. I’ve accepted that’s just a part of OCD. But what really bothers me is when I get an thought while I’m about to orgasm. Sometimes I’ll get a thought of a family member while I’m orgasming and I can’t push it away because it’s so fast. When this happens, I feel like I don’t care and I would act on the intrustive thought. As soon as I’m done orgasming, I’m just horrified. But for the couple of seconds while I am orgasming, I think I like it and don’t care. How can this be OCD? This is so scary and I don’t know how to live with myself. It just feels like I masturbated to the thought. I can’t remember exactly what thoughts I had while I was orgasming and it bothers me so much because I can’t even accurately describe it.

I feel like I just masturbated to a family memeber and enjoyed it and that makes me feel so sick.