Evening everyone (especially for those on nights),

I (31M) am a RN4 scrub/scout who has been thinking about going back to the floor because I miss the patient interaction, the personalities (surgeons and nurses) can be ummm challenging at times, the job is so OCD I am getting sick of it (I am a walk and talk at a billion miles an hour kind of person), theatre work doesn't have many chances for shift penalty rates compared to the wards and finally my NUM and educators want me to move onto organ transplants, the surgery I am most terrified off because so the sheer amount of suture needles I have to manage. I barely survived doing a kidney transplant, I do not want to do anything larger like a liver.

However I am very conflicted on which specialty I want to try next. For theatres even though I am getting over it I can manage once you remove neuro, cardiac or anything larger than a laparotomy. Also by February next year I will have two years of scrubbing experience which should be enough to work as a travel nurse for some agencies and being a nurse in NSW the money and flexibility is very alluring. Part of me wants to stick with it then travel and another part of me wants to try another area all together.

I also miss the patient interaction sometimes. I worked on a gen med and respiratory pediatric ward during my new grad. I loved playing 'ward dad' and settling/cuddling infants, 'ward uncle' to bigger kids and making sick kids laugh and smile and playing 'ward big brother' to adolescents giving life advice. I also liked the parents who weren't overly difficult and it could be fulfilling at times. However I HATED respiratory, HIFLOs, BIPAP, CPAP and O2 obs especially on infants who also hated them(good luck keeping any of that stuff on a grumpy infant or toddler). I also didn't like making kids cry by giving IM's, subcuts, suctioning them, inserting NG tubes and I hated constantly having to chase everyone for everything which is just the nature of any ward wherever you go. Part of me wants to Special Care Nursery to work with babies without the intensity of NICU but as a peds nurse knows by now peds nursing is not all baby cuddles.

Another part of me is leaning towards going to adults which is surprising for me as I have long avoided conscious adults due to the years working as an orderly who attended a lot of code blacks which skewed my view of adult nursing to 'fight club nursing edition'. However on reflection on my placements and my PACU rotation adult patients aren't that bad. I would go far to say I am curious about adult ED since it fits my fast paced personality, I am surprisingly good at chest compressions, to re-learn all the the basic core nursing skills I have long forgotten and even set the foundational skills for remote area nursing and travelling if I choose to want to go down that direction.

Sorry for the long rant, I am a bit lost right now and would like some advice and guidance for my next path in nursing.

Thanks everyone for your time and have a lovely night.

PS

I did write up a post a while ago about looking for higher paying jobs outside nursing without a dress and how I no longer have any interest in nursing. If you are curious go through my search history. I got a lot of answers but nothing that really interested me (a lot of medical sales suggestions) so I am stuck with nursing and have to make the best of it.