My wife and I once lived in an apartment complex in our first year and a half of marriage. Mail mix ups were common there so it was a bi-weekly routine to take a very quick trip to the main office, drop off a mislabeled package, and head home. Jump a year into the future and we have a home and are taking care of foster kids that have just recently entered the system. We desperately want them to have a good Christmas since life has dealt them so many bad hands. Just once I want them to experience a Christmas where they feel more valued than drugs and get more out of the holidays than sexual abuse thanks to their biological family.

We ordered the gifts off of a site we used to order more frequently from but haven’t ordered gifts from there in a while. We found the perfect gifts. They were on sale so that allowed us to get more for them and everything was falling right into place. But then it happened. A day later we checked our email and to our horror, we realized the computer saved our old address and even though we originally put in the right address, the computer auto filled the rest of the information. That sent the packages to the old apartment complex. We called the store. They wouldn’t help us at all. So we called the apartment complex to try to get ahead of this before they were delivered. This was all going to go well until the current resident of our old apartment completely overreacted to the news. Out of 4 boxes that were delivered to that complex, he only returned one and threatened “if this happens again, I’m going to destroy these gifts!” Turns out. He had all the packages and were keeping them knowing full well that we lived fairly close and that they were for foster kids.

We called and contacted the complex multiple times and they had the same sad news - either the guy wouldn’t return a call or he would just angrily hang up. So I took a drive past my old apartment. I saw what car he drove and then I saw that he obviously had some sort of family. I had one of two choices. I thought of letting it go. I thought about the spirit of Christmas and how the New Year was a mark of a new start. Then I thought of him bringing stolen gifts to other people because this scum dweller wouldn’t buy gifts for the ones around him either. This is when things turned dark in my mind. “He tried to take gifts away from foster kids who have had their home taken from them... why not take Christmas away from him? Why not take away his home? Whatever he has experienced in life to lead to this event, I want him to suffer even more for this injustice.” In a right mind set, I talked to a cop friend of mine and there wasn’t much I could do without going to small claims court and spending a good bit of money. I even posted on r/legaladvice to get some help and got similar answers. The plan executed as follows:

I parked on a hilltop overlooking the complex. Luckily the apartment is close to the base of the hill so I had a perfect spot to observe. After I waited for the guy to come home, I made note of his vehicle to confirm that was indeed his car and then went to the store. I picked up several dozens of eggs and a can of spray paint and went back home to await nightfall. I went back out around 2am. I premixed the eggs and kept all of the shells. I went to a more secluded spot away from the complex where I knew I could park and find a route that didn’t have any sort of security cameras. I snuck up carrying a bowl of pre-beat eggs, the shells, and the spray paint in my hoodie pocket. A carefully laid the ingredients down that would be used to concoct my revenge. I was shaking. I’m still shaking as I write this. I pulled out the spray paint (that I shook before getting out of the car to reduce noise). I used to paint to write “home wrecker” on the hood of his car. Then I poured the eggs from the roof and poured towards the back as to not let the mixture ruin the message on the hood. I laid the egg shells around the car. I placed a note on the bush outside of his door that read “fertilize THESE eggs!” (In hopes that his wife or partner would see it). Then I took a pocket knife and flattened the driver front and passenger rear tire (since some insurance will cover it if all 4 get slashed and I wanted to do something a spare tire wouldn’t be able to fix). I went to flatten a third tire but I saw headlights of someone heading into the complex so I had to bail. I made me way back carefully to my car and drove off.

I don’t know how all of this had an effect but I’m afraid to go back again and check on things without raising suspicion. So far no one has reached out to me to ask about the incident. I made it out but I will update if I find anything else out. Oh - and Merry Christmas.

Update: I went back because it was killing me. I wanted to drive by and take a picture for you guys but the car is gone. The shells are still littered on the ground but it looks like the car was towed. There were also remains of a broken coffee mug at the base of his door. I like to imagine that he walked out, saw it, and spiked it into the ground out of anger. Or maybe his wife saw it and chucked it at his dumb head. I want to imagine that it destroyed his home so he can get a taste of what a broken home feels like. Just like how these foster kids have had to experience this time of year their whole lives.

I told my family that someone had stolen or destroyed the packages and they are all chipping in to shower the kids with gifts so they will not be without. Of course I didn’t tell them about the gifts or the plan of revenge on their behalf but the a great gift I will have received this year is that some sense of justice has been fulfilled. The best gift is being able to give these kids a merry Christmas and the look on their faces when they get all of these gifts.