Hi there, Im J (not my real name but good enough for Reddit.) I have been non mono for 4 years now and it's freaking hard to find a great woman that also is nonmono, but maybe Im not looking in the right places. I have been on tinder and bumble, but these apps just suck, for anyone, not just nonmono people.

Before the pandemic, I would join rec leagues and go to events that interested me, like photography, hiking groups, cycling groups. Met many great women there, some I got involved with more seriously, but none of them liked the idea of an open relationship. This would be what ended things 9/10 times. I get that this lifestyle isn't for everyone.

I have also been going to poly groups when I lived in SF ( moved to NYC three weeks ago over new Year.) However a lot of the poly people there also identify with the lgbt community, which theres nothing wrong with that, I made many friends that way. However Im not gay, and don't connect with the culture around lgbt so it was hard to turn friendships into something more. After the pandemic, ill go to meet-ups here in NYC. But who knows when that will be.

So my search brings me here. Im not sure if Reddit is the answer but I can at least say that I tried.

Im looking for someone that is looking for a long term open relationship and identifies with this lifestyle. Ie. Has identified and has been part of the community and lifestyle for 2 plus years. Not set in stone, but is preferred. The reason I say this is because I have met wonderful people who talk as if this is what they want, we go on dates, start connecting, then I'll start talking about boundaries and going on a date with someone else, and I'll get a weird uncomfortable vibe from them. I value communication so ill check-in and ask questions and thru this process, I learn that they have only been poly for a few months and then they tell me it's something they are trying out. This has happened to me a lot!! I have no problem with people exploring who they are, just be upfront about it and not claim this is the lifestyle for you. I would have even been happy to go with them down that road if I knew up front they were feeling things out. I love teaching and mentoring and have a lot of wisdom to share.

Anyway, back on topic. So yes, please be serious about the lifestyle.

About me.

I am an entrepreneur who runs a YouTube channel. Just started so please don't judge the quality of the videos. This is my first and only video so far, started in Dec, then got busy with the move. More coming soon. https://youtu.be/BirooSvB_50

• I love cooking
• Tech
• Bdsm/kink
• Dating/meeting new people. Both platonic and romanticly
• Going out (pre-pandemic)
• Going on new adventures!
• Roller coasters
• Singing my heart out at karaoke!
• Being weird and playful to make people laugh
• Riding bicycles
• Marvel movies
• Deep conversations
• Camping
• Learning new things
• Road trips

Im 6 foot, with long beautiful hair, dad bod, but I have been called attractive, nice beard, under the dad bod Im strong I just don't look it. Overall Im a handsome dude. Some of the words women have used to describe me are, handsome, cute, adorable, and good looking.

Im compassionate, caring, understanding, and attentive, I have been told I have a desirable personality that women want in a man.

In bed, I have been described as dominant, yet gentle and I know how to give us both a good time before, during, and after. I like sex to be an experience, not just an orgasm.

Ok well, I feel like I have ranted enough. There is so much more to me but I'll save some for the dates we going on. Figuring someone out can be a lot of fun too!

If this interests you and you are in the area. Feel free to send me a message.

Thanks for reading all this, and to show that you are serious please make the subject of the message your favorite breakfast meal. Just so I know you read this and are willing to put in the effort. Like I said, Im looking for something serious. "Hey" and other generic messages won't get a response.

Thank you and have a wonderful day.