I'm AMAB and came out as nb last year.
So I was spending time with some friends for new years and they've been really good about using my preferred pronouns for the most part. But yesterday, we were playing video games and I was responding in a way that is more traditionally masculine and their use of pronouns slowly slipped over the course if the night.

I have a beard, a deep voice, etc. Even with long hair and make-up, the world doesn't typically see me as anything other than masc, which is fine. Inside, I always feel non binary (or at least not a man), but it doesn't help when some of the people that know about my gender identity start to slip up when I'm "behaving like a man"

Idk, I guess I'm just ranting. I guess I worry that my identity is conditional even in the eyes of people who supposedly understand. Like the instant I show my masc side that that part of me is suddenly the only real and valid part of me and I'm faking the rest of the time.