hey y’all, this is my first time posting but i wanted some advice perhaps. i’m trying to figure out how to best approach my friend. i’m queer & nonbinary & they’ve been supportive of me using neutral pronouns & digging into their queerness as well. i’ve been considering test driving a new name & posted about it, stating that i didn’t want to be called by that name, it’s just something i was thinking about.

they immediately texted me asking should they change my name in their phone? why didn’t i tell them? it depressed me & made me anxious cause i feel like my friend doesn’t always listen to me. this has been a reoccurring experience where my friend means well but can be too excited/go over the top with support if that makes sense? this also leads to them not hearing what i’m saying & sort of bulldozing over what i want with what they think is best.

i’ve talked to them about these behaviors repeatedly. because of past trauma & lack of support during many trying times in their life, they are admittedly overcompensating at times. i understand & relate but every time i address it, it’s apologies with no action change.

i’m just at a loss. what should i do? how can i make my friend understand not only this situation but most situations i feel like my friend isn’t truly hearing what i’m saying?