edit: thank you all so much for your great comments. You have made me feel valid as an individual, and also remind me that I should be validating myself & just wear whatever is most comfortable to me. i shouldn't allow anyone to have such a hold on me that I feel like I must change myself to "fit in". or just accept that im "too feminine to be NB" I don't need to fit in if the space im tryna squeeze into is uncomfortable, cramped, & closed off in thinking. I do not owe anyone androgyny - i do it for me.

like the title says. i tend to dress more "feminine" most of the time bc that takes up most of my wardrobe. i have considered my gender for so many years. never feeling like i was a full girl/woman. i didn't really understand or knew what nonbinary meant until a few years ago. and realized I felt way more comfortable to be addressed as they/them. people still use she/her pronouns for me, which I guess I don't mind too much...well to a degree. it sorta makes me uncomfortable now. people ask me my pronouns now...and sometimes i don't even want to tell them especially when they tell me that i cannot be nonbinary because i dress more feminine. which honestly feels unfair. i haven't even told my parents because my mother is the type to not only deadname trans & nonbinary people but deny that they exist at all. i feel like she would do this to me. and would even agree with others who tell me that im a female because of what I choose to wear.

my point is: i feel like i shouldn't owe anyone androgyny just to prove & further validate my "nonbinary status". I should be able to JUST Be and wear whatever im most comfortable in without feeling like I have to dress more masc in order for people to validate me. granted, i like to dress masc but it should be my choice when I do so. some people in my life accept me, while others ive considered friends make me feel "silly" for my identity.