Originally in this "Prompt Me"

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Michael eyed his cell phone with suspicion. It was 2021, no one called anymore. At least, not people. And he’d only ordered the pizza five minutes ago, there was no possible way it could be here yet, right? The “unknown number” sign warred with his stomach’s growling, and as usual, his baser instincts won out, for once to his benefit.

“Hello, Mike here, who’s this?”

“Sanguine Pizza, just need you to invite me in.”

Mike considered this. Were scammers getting better? “I dunno man, I just ordered. Seems kinda sus you being here so quick.”

A resigned hiss came through the phone, and the pizza delivery man said, in the dead tone of a service worker repeating something for the hundredth time today, “At Sanguine Pizza we employ only vampires. Super speed and all that. It makes deliveries very fast; so fast we only need to cook the pizza halfway, and we let the heat from friction with the air finish the job on the way.”

Mike considered this. It was plausible. Probably. “‘Kay, bring the pizza up, apartment 1402.”

“Vampire, remember? I need you to invite me in.”

Mkie slapped his forehead. “Of course, how silly of me. One sec.” He set the phone aside and went to the buzzer to tap in his code. “Doors should be open now.”

Mike heard a deep inhale, followed by a long, slow exhale. “Just say the words, ‘You can come in’.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “You’re bringing pizza for someone in the building. Of course delivery men can come inside.”

Quiet, heartfelt words in a foreign language came through his phone. Finally, the vampire said, “I am a vampire. Vampires cannot enter homes without being invited in. If you want your pizza, you need to give me permission to come in.”

Mike thought about this for a few seconds. “You seem to be pushing this invitation thing a bit too hard. Is this a scam after all? Is this some thing where you get me on a recorder saying you’d be allowed to enter, and then you use that as an excuse to break in later and rob me?”

“You ordered a pizza. From a vampire pizza company. It said, on the online order, you would need to invite the delivery man in. Which part of these simple instructions confuses you?”

“Don’t take that tone with me,” Mike said, “I mean, I don’t wanna be a Karen about this, but I am a paying customer.”

Growl. “Invite me in.”

“I don’t like doing this, but I will file a complaint if you keep this up. I’m a nice guy, but this is just over the line.”

“Invite. Me. In. Mortal.”

“Is ‘sorry’ such a hard word?” Mike wondered aloud.

“You insolent-” The voice abruptly cut off.

“Hello? Hello? Did you hang up on me?” Mike asked. Faintly, he could make out a few words.

“You live here?… delivery… won’t ask… thanks…”

The vampire came back on the phone. The earlier frustration was gone from his voice, replaced by a smooth, polished tone that sent shivers up Mike’s spine, “I’ll be up in a moment. 1402, was it?”

“Yes.” Mike said sarcastically, shaking off his illogical nerves, “1402. Is that too complicated for you?” The line went dead in the middle of his sentence.

“How rude,” he muttered.

***

Police Report

Biohazard suits required for clean up in apartment 1402

Victim identified by dental records

Cause of death: Assault with blunt object (pizza box)