Let me introduce myself:

My name is Lev, I'm 17, I'm from Russia, and I consider myself an existential nihilist. I decided to ask this question mostly out of curiosity towards American (and not only American) culture, not because I want to prove something to someone.

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About 2 years ago I started straggling with depression, which lasted for about 9 months. During that period I was thinking a lot about a life meaning and then came to the conclusion that there is none. Several months later after I started feeling better I came across this video on TedEd after which I became interested in this topic. After some more time, I found out that the thing I am experiencing is called "Existential nihilism" and also that many Americans think of it as a thing that "edgy kids like to do" or something like that. I want to know why it is so because we have no such stereotype in Russia (most of the people don't even know what these things are). Today I feel fine, but even though I still keep the same worldview. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy living, and I have lots of different hobbies (English, Japanese, Programming, drawing, music production, etc.) but I do realize that I only do all of these things to fool myself. I want to know your opinion on the subject. And thanks for your attention.