I (25F) have been seeing this guy (27M) very on/off and very casually for the past 11-12 months. I haven't had sex with him yet (only started giving him oral VERY recently) because I was paranoid about doing it without him getting an std test and he just kept dragging his feet on it, so we never did it. I was never this paranoid about stuff like this before last year, but I'm loosening up on it again and feeling comfy with just condoms. I went over to his place last weekend and told him again to get tested and to do it that week itself, and he said he will. I was thinking about it again a few nights ago.

I've been horny lately, and I haven't had good sex in awhile (I tried having it a month ago with another guy but it was really bad), so I messaged him (it was my 3rd time initiating in that 1 week alone, I was down BAD LOL), and told him that I'm comfy with having sex. He replied back that he's on some sort of business trip, so we never hungout that night. A little while after, I was honestly sorta upset at myself for even thinking about going back on my boundaries. I didn't feel like having another std test convo with him, so I deleted all of my messages in our chat thread and blocked him. Honestly, if he noticed, I probably look crazy. Was this bad on my part?