Hello, F44 here, i've been married-divorced (16 years) then partnered-separated (6 years) and few stories here and there in between... My 2 long relationships ended with extremely complicated separation and made me realise how much i'm doing great when i'm single, so happy all by myself. I'm really blooming and feel fulfilled. But as i'm still a human, i also need/appreciate some oxytocin sometimes hehe so i connect dating apps and have some dates. But then i create the need of being in a long lasting stable relationship, i feel sad and unhappy because i'm alone etc.

Last year i met someone, we jumped into a committed relationship very fast, so far so good and it was absolutely fantastic to finally be with someone who's not playing around but with time, the honeymoon period fades-out and makes me realise that this person is not fully my perfect match. I start to be concerned by his flaws and our differences, spotting out a few red flags etc.

But i'm also realistic that a 1000% perfect match will never happen. Impossible to have the same one with only the pros and none of the cons! Plus I also have looooots of flaws and cons which he has to deal with 😬

My head is upside down as i'm wondering how much sacrifice one should do, how much is acceptable or not, should i give it more time, is it better to be with a partly satisfying person, who i will learn to fully love over time or just accept to be single for the rest of my life - i don't have kids and we were considering conceiving... I also feel that almost my whole life i was a giver, providing care, serving others, putting myself after my partners and i'm just tired of that and want to live an egoistic self centered life now, to not give a damn sh** about others' needs etc.

Today i woke up and felt like "okay, i'm done" but then i know i might regret it because on the other hand i really appreciate the person and life is a journey with its challenges "no pain, no gain". IDK...

Thanks for reading 🙏