Like I can’t find it in me to do it. My last relationship was a year long and it took me a while to pull the trigger. I just kept giving it more time and couldn’t stomach being the rejector.

Then one day after seeing an episode of the bachelor and how the man had the strength to be honest and reject even making women cry, I told her I don’t see this ending in marriage. She pridefully said okay then we shouldn’t continue but I don’t think it hit her fully because over the next few months she reached out to me saying she could really use a friend right now (I said she would be better off reaching out to friends). I still feel bad about this 2.5 years later.

Now I’ve been dating someone for 70 days and as silly as it sounds, even though there are some other reasons I don’t see a future, when I found out she had a cold sore I’ve just been freaking out and picture the worst case scenario of catching it.

So today she got scared at my driving and being more bold this time around I said I don’t know how compatible we are since we’re both anxious. But it made her sad and she eventually asked if I wanted to stop dating but I just couldn’t pull the trigger and said I’m not sure right now.

Then I got sad because partly heart break of the thought of parting with someone I spent time with plus hurting her. The easy way would be if she dumped me or moved out of state then I wouldn’t feel as bad.

And now I’m seeing my friends who haven’t had a girlfriend in the 8 years I’ve known them and they haven’t felt this kind of heart ache unless they experience a different kind but they look safe.

I try to tell myself that lots of people break up and a lot don’t feel bad, any advice?