I tell myself periodically to work overtime and weekends. I get motivation to “be a man” and I’m not burned out right now. I haven’t been working over time much but I did work an extra weekend shift last month and worked on New Year’s Day.

I do ultrasounds. Patients come and I scan for 15-20 minutes. It’s honestly an easy routine task.

And today I had shorter exams to do and more time to chill but with just a couple patients left I got an irritated feeling.

I had the feeling of when is the shift going to be over already. Maybe it’s because I had a big slice of cake for lunch. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a slowish day and momentum is lost.

But once I had my second to last patient arrive I got mildly upset that they showed up. (It must be a universal feeling because most of my fellow techs celebrate no-shows).

If there are people who work 7 days a week, 60-100 hours a week, harder and more demanding jobs, why am I having so much difficulty that I feel a sense of suffering for having almost two hours left?

Another thing is that when I’m a medical patient or getting a haircut, workers are so bubbly and engaging like they are putting extra effort into the job burn when I’m working in sometimes monotone and not very engaged and when I do try to sound louder I feel myself exert the energy out