I (34 M) have been married to my wife (30 F) for a couple years and we’ve been together for several years before that. We’re definitely at the point in our relationship where we’ve lost that passionate spark, but we both still love each other. The problem is, we have gotten to the point where we only have sex once a month or every other month. We’re both very attractive and fit so it’s not an attraction issue. I don’t know if she has a problem with her libido or if it’s something I’m doing to cause her not to be interested. I basically wake up with a hard on every single morning and try to make advances on her but get rebuffed every time. She’ll brush me off and say “shhh I’m trying to sleep”, or roll further away in the bed. At night, she’ll read her book late into the night and doesn’t respond to me spooning her and grabbing her boobs or rubbing her back.

The only times we really ever have sex is when she initiates it, which is very rarely. We’ve talked about this before and she claims it’s not an issue or acts like I’m not actually initiating sex. Is there something I can do differently to increase the frequency of our intimacy?