I just hate how life is always unexpected and there is so much uncertainty. Like I'm always in this worry about finding clarity and need of assurance before doing anything. Like I'm applying for jobs but I stopped and now is been a year without job. I gave up within few weeks of applying because you just apply and apply yet all you get is ghosting or thank you for applying. I just I don't know gave up because I felt internally that I won't get a job. I have high expectations from inside because I'm seeing my cousins success, seeing them having nice jobs and big house to big social status. Like I deep down feel that I'll never reach success. And I'm only in my 20s yet thinking this way. I have extreme poor mindset and no willpower