sooo long story short, the girl asks me for money like almost every week. it’s not a lot like normally less than $20 sometimes she even asks for $5 but she ALWAYS says she will pay me back “when she gets paid” and never does.

i hardly follow up about that w her because she talks a lot about feeling pressured by people, how busy she is etc. i dont wanna add to her stress so i choose not to remind her. i also WANT to trust her word.

ive lended her money SOOOOOO many times and i think she’s only paid me back like once or twice and that was probably the first few times she asked.

when i was entering a new relationship, she asked me for $40 but it was my ex’s birthday so i really needed money to spoil him yk? but then she didnt realize that it’s the weekend and with the bank she was using, transactions dont go through on the weekend. cuz she said she’d be able to pay me back in two hours or sum. i was so mad. i was so mad that i blocked her everywhere and cut her off. i managed to keep her away for a few months till she js called me outta nowhere on a different number. i explained why i disappeared on her and she apologised n said she wouldnt do that again. she really seemed like she realized where she was wrong and she was screwing the one first that’s stuck around for forever.

i just didnt like how careless she was about it. i told her yk that it’s my bfs birthday so pleaseee make sure u do pay me back cuz i need this money. anyway that was 2 years ago. i thought she wouldve changed but idk man… shit’s still the same.

she doesnt stick to her word and it makes me so nervous every time she calls me. she doesnt call me much but when she does it’s normally about asking for money. sometimes when we werent seeing each other much, she’d message me after ages and somehow in the conversation she’ll say “also bro so sorry but do u have $7 i can borrow? i’ll pay u back next week on payday” AND SHE NEVER DOESSSS

i dont care about the money, i care about the lack of seriousness. it’s like im not taken seriously.

two weeks ago she asked for $15 and she said “i can either pay u back or give u some free bud” ofc since she hardly EVER pays me back anyway, i went for the free bud. then days later we were talking about scoring and i js sorta thought to myself uhm… i thought i was gnna get free bud? but i kept it to myself. it’s just so awkward for me to bring up and again like i dont wanna be an asshole.

i asked her for a favor last week. since i started smoking again, i was talking to her about how i needa get ahold of these dealers right? then she said “oh nah dont worry about that i gotchu. i’ll get some for u from these people i know.” so i was like okay sweet, i dont need to deal w some shady dealers then. so she OFFERED basically. she made herself available for me to rely on her. i transferred her $30 for a fid and i knew she was working the next day so i said “hey man no pressure like u dont have to drop it off tomorrow exactly”. cuz she’s been complaining that she hasnt been getting enough sleep and she’s been helping out this other friend get around… i dont wanna be the person that pressures her. so i told her not to stress.

UHMMM it’s been like almost a week😭 i reached out to her on her day off js to check yk? and she js said she will let me know when she sees those people and when she’ll come.

BUT IVE BEEN SEEING HER STORY AND IM PRETTY SURE SHE HAS BEEN OUT N ABOUT YK? idk.

i wanna be honest w her. im thinking i’ll js level w her yk. because id hate to feel used by my only best friend. i just wanna know what i am to her and why she’s so like chill w me? does she not realize i have expenses too? i have a family? i NEVER take money from anyone. i be left with less than a dollar sometimes because of the holidays, so i ask my mom for money but it’s for things that the whole family needs like laundry n stuff.

ANY ADVICE OR INSIGHT ON HOW TO NAVIGATE THIS WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED!!!