I am from India. M16 this a long read , but please help me

. I am preparing for college entrance exam which requires 13-14. Hours of study ( people who started prepping at time need to spend only 6-7 hours, it's diff for me )

and I was successfully giving it that much ( from Jan to Sept, mostly 15 hours even )

then I don't know what happened I started getting anxiety and worry about things and stuffs. ( I was also getting stress and anxiety from jan to sept/oct , but I used to take out 1 - 2 hours time for worry occasionally to worry about those stuff and implement some solution if I think of one )

As passing time this stress anxiety overwhelming feeling is staring to become consistent. As months passed from jan to now (dec) ...it's increasing.

It was t non existing at start of year till mid. Then it became rare . Then it became occasional at weekends . Then it became frequent but it only took 1 hours daily . Now it's taking a lot of time ( 3-4 hours at best , 6-7 at worst days I am getting only 7 hours of study, which is not enough for my prep)

(My curent plan is to take 3 hours daily to worry , if this post doesn't offer some help or this post doesn't work out )

And I don't know what to ask from you guys . I am confused af . So I am listing all my problems that worry and overwhelm me .

I am hoping you all will notice some pattern and can offer some advice from my thought pattern .

This list is no particular order .

1.I don't know if I should get a therapist or not . Or if my family Can even afford one . Or even allow it .

An unrelated things to add is - just bcz of luck I came across a post that said Indian therpist are bad and most are untrained and there is no body of gov that regulate them .the post was suggesting to get foreign therapist .

So most of my life depends on luck , if I had not seen that post I would have wasted time and money and took a bad decison

1. I dont know if I am just overthinking and complicating things and it's just execuse to not study.
   

People have said that to me it's all things I say are just execuse to not study .

But I don't have any probelm to study , I have studied 15 hours for months without any saturation. If my mind allow I can study even longer.

And I do have tried to ignore all my thoughts and just push myslf to study to know if am making execsues to not study or is it legit ..

I have tried to suck it inside and stidy ...I become so overwhelmed and stressed that I start screaming in my room and hitting myself... so I have to take a break to worry . Thus I am not using stress as excuse to procrastinate and not study .I dont have procrastinate problem at all .

1. I posted this on a teenagers Indian sub ..where people bullied me and down voted me to oblivion and I had to make a new account .(so please don't down vote me too much, I will not Able to post again)

They said I am saying these stuff for sympathy .but I don't want any sympathy. Just tell me solution and course of actions I have to do . Just tell me soln .don't give me sympathy

4 . I have contacted some counsellers and therpist from my coaching hot line , they didn't help much , they also said indirectly and subtly that I should stop using Phone ( indirectly way of saying , I am making execuses ) ...I have tried this also

I just used my will power And forced me to study only . I again as usual became stresed very and hit myself and scream .

But I am thinking of getting a paid therpist not free hotliness one . .. Hot line one maybe brushed me off becaue they dint get paid enough to deal with one specific person.

1. To specify what causes me to hit myself. I guess feeling powerless and hate for me , shame .

To specify what happens..I start recalling all the small to big mistakes I did . And these things spin in my head while studying and I become so angry that I hit myself and scream

1. One other side of coin is ...what if I am just overthing these things as a kkd ...and none of this is real . Just like last year I was fully convinced that I had bpd and adhd. But now looking back I was just overthinking .

...let's see what happens now.....