I had my first time with a guy and i’ve been attached for ten months now. There’s been incidents where he’s mistreated me. Like leaving me on read after reaching out to me first, one time he suggested we meet up later in the day after we already did. I was excited bc it was going to be his birthday and he was getting off work at midnight so I decided to wait till then. I use a train to get to his place and it takes 2 hours. I was planning on seeing him at midnight so ofc I didn’t get on my last train. He had messaged me saying he didn’t know whether he was getting off at midnight anymore but didn’t say anything else so I thought he meant he was just getting off a little later than he expected. I ended up not seeing him and had to take my first train home, waiting about 11 hours. He called me an hour and a half before my first train, and at that point I thought he would for sure come to see me. I had no choice but to wait at the station bc I had nowhere to stay and all of the hotels i tried going to were booked. I asked him what I should do and he said if I was already at the station I might as well go home. That was 7 months ago and he seemed to become more nice since then. I’m trying to stop caring or needing his validation but no matter how much time passes I can’t get over him or forget. It’s making every other thing in my life feel boring. Like i’m living for the days he hits me up. He’s rlly nice in person but I try to remind myself of all the shit he’s done when we weren’t together but i’m still not getting turned off by his actions. What do I do he’s making me feel like i’m wasting my life. I’ve even started to post stories every once in a while showing my body, and those he reacts to. But idk, I started doing that recently but I don’t want to have to do that every time i want to see him. He’s offered to hang out without having sex before, and offered for me to go drinking with him and his friends so idk what his deal is. I don’t want a relationship with him, but I want to at least be friends. What do I do to stop thinking about him bc it’s been nonstop for the last 10 months.