This happens to me 1-2 times a year where I slip into a good few weeks or even months of total despair and worthlessness. Last time this happened was October 2023, in an incident that was particularly destructive to me, my life, and my interpersonal relationships.

I'm starting to feel it tug at me again. Getting up in the morning is harder. Stress from work and school is becoming more terror inducing. Optimism and excitement for my future from just a month or two ago is turning into hopelessness. And just this morning I caught myself negative self talking like I used to, talking out loud about how much I hate myself and how much of a useless loser I am.

I cannot return to where I was 13 months ago. It destroyed me. I need to get through the next 3 weeks of school. But I don't have anywhere to turn. My family is lovely but they will not understand. My friends are lovely but majority lack the emotional intelligence to be of any help, and those that have it are not what I need right now. I've gotta face this alone.

But I'm not lost yet. I'm not in the food binging, credit card abusing mode where I stay in bed for 20 hours at a time and don't change clothes for a week and stop answering my mom's texts. I know in my heart that if this happens again, it will be even worse.

What $0 actions can I take right now to decrease the probability of this happening as best as possible?