I (25F) usually just tell men no directly, but with this one guy (31M) i’m having a hard time. We started off as friends, then he started inviting me out to eat on our own, and i said yes at first because i didn’t want to immediately assume it’s a date when he hasn’t said so. I am new to this country and i he’s a local so at first i thought he wanted to show me local food.

Now he’s buying me chocolate, calling me everyday, texting, dreaming about me, playing my favourite video games. I’ve been trying to ignore him at every social function we’re both at in public, and i’ve refused any of his further invitations (made excuses mostly). yesterday while i was trying to hang out with my friend before she moves away he kept coming over and butting in on the conversation because i guess he considered himself to be “with” me in that event even though we didn’t arrive or leave together and i barely talked to him. there were like 30 more people there.

today he came to my university department with chocolate. i had to leave my coworkers/friends to go see him after dinner because even though i told him i was having dinner he said”just two minutes” because he had to give me the chocolate (it’s 11.11, like valentine’s day today here in the country)

OH and he found my work email and sent me an email on it being flirty but i completely ignored that and didn’t bring it up.