(sorry if this doesn't make sense, I'm not sure how to describe it lol)

This started happening when I was 10, at the time I had awful mental health. And it recently came back after lots of stressful things started happening.

Sometimes I'll think about specifically touching something to the very left / right (also sometimes down and up) but if not I'll either be unhappy and / or twitch my head / neck to that direction instead. It's not symmetrical usually, but sometimes I'll do the same thing to the opposite direction after.

It's ruining my notes and anything I write on too. Each time I have the urge, I use my pencil and aggressively draw on the paper to the edge (usually near the end of the paper anyway) but sometimes I need to do it further away (if you get what I mean). It's like drawing multiple lines without a ruler to the edge of the page but over and over again until I get the satisfaction. It may also escalate on me drawing on the table, also to the end of the side which gets me in trouble alot at school.

I told my mum about it and she said to try think about something else but it's hard.

It may not also be just about writing but if I'm reading a book, I might accidentally tear a bit of the page or press my thumb and drag it down the paper of the direction I really need to. If it's with my phone, I scratch my screen multiple times. I might also do it with my hands aswell.

I have tried to research it but all I see is only about having the urge symmetrically, which doesn't usually happen for me.

I just want to figure out why I'm doing this, and just recently after not feeling this since a few years now.

I hope this isn't a stupid question