My mother literally acts like she just discovered empathy and the very concept of nuance yesterday. It’s truly insane.

She will exhaustively question everything from every single possible perspective, voice that, and never support you with any position you hold ever. She feels the need to point out that someone “was just trying to help” and assumes that you don’t automatically understand that already?? Like she thinks everyone else only sees in black-or-white and she’s the only one who considers the complex grey area. But she does this to a point where there’s no actual conclusion made ever. It’s exhausting.

Someone did something horrible or abusive that you both agree is really bad? Even though your own the same page, she feels the need to remind you that they weren’t TRYING to do this or they were just raised a certain way or this or that or whatever. Which is already obvious to everyone but she halts the whole conversation to inject this caveat as if it’s a big revelation.

It gets to be more than just annoying and becomes an actual problem when I tell her I’m struggling really bad with mental health issues (ADHD, depression, anxiety) and she can never just give full support. It always has to be questioning if I’m doing this right, or if maybe it’s something else, or if this is causing this or… blah blah blah until the end of time.

She doesn’t weigh things against each other and come to an eventual conclusion like normal people. She analyzing herself into a corner and brings you into her strange state of indecisiveness with her. It’s so incredibly unproductive.

I open up about something my dad has done that hurt me, and the first thing she drills into my skull is that I HAVE to remember he still loves me and isn’t TRYING to be 100% 1-dimensionally evil like a cartoon villain. Like uh no shit?

She literally told me if I came to her for support after my hypothetical future wife cheated on me, she’d STILL immediately be like “well maybe she was feeling this way or maybe she just needed this and I shouldnt demonize her because in her mind maybe… blah blah blah.” Like Jesus Christ can’t we just say fuck my wife for cheating on me??? Is that never allowed???

Wtf even is this? What would you call this?? Does anyone else know someone who’s similar?