EDIT: SHE FORGIVES ME. (I know that doesn’t enable, erase, or makes anything right. Just setting the scene) She specifically said she forgives me. However, We are not together anymore we are coparents and very close friends.we met in high school and I was her first. Now, This incident has taken place a full year ago but it still eats me up and upsets me almost daily. I did something bad, and I can barely stand with the guilt but my baby mama has been pulling me back to reality trying to help me, but at the end of the day I hurt her in a way where I don’t want to forgive myself and it’s not some attention seeking ploy. I just don’t like myself anymore. She forgives me but man does it make me feel like trash. She wants me happy, joyful, and chipper but it feels wrong.