I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years. She's 26 , I'm 30. She'll be 27 in Dec.

We had 3 children, 1 of which has passed due to having turners syndrome. (She rocked for 4 months after so she was strong girl; we miss you Juliann)

Other 2 are live and having the best life as children haha (4&2)(both girls);

But reason for my posting is MARRIAGE.

I don't want to marry her , ugh I feel like a fucken douche typing this up. I do love her. I do want to spend many years with her still. She grew up very old fashion in the Mexican ways. She has only been with One other man besides me. She wants to marry me and I don't and we get an argument about this a lot.

I feel marriage doesn't signify my love towards her but I don't know if I'm wrong or if I'm being stubborn.

Is there any advice I can have about this situation? I'm really lost on what I should do honestly.

I honestly feel I can't won't be able to provide the marriage you really wants meaning like a expensive one. And it honestly kind of embarrasses me when I think about it. That's honestly my reasoning of not wanting to get married.