So i mainly use online dating for matches. Matching online is rare for me but when i do eventually get a match it seems like girls show a lot of interest in the beginning.

Unfortunately i either say something dumb or make mistakes on/after the dates which results in the girl ebentually losing interest in me.

I was with my ex for 5 years. We went on a date. I kissed her on the lips at the end of our first date. We were together for a long time after that.

Failed examples

Afterwards all my dates failed, even ones who showed a lot of interest in the beginning.

One girl put a lot of effort in setting up our date. After the date she told me i didnt show any interest in her at all.

Another girl let me kiss her on the first date but things went bad afterwards. She was just slow to reply after our first date and then we ended things

There was another girl that i spoke to for 1.5 months. Taking the feedback from my previous failed date(you dont show me any interest) i showed this girl a lot of interest. But i noticed that with time it made me come across as desperate and needy and one day she told me she just wants to be friends.

I have read models by mark manson and it was very theoretical.

Then i read another book whose name i forgot but that book mentioned i should be trying to have sex on my first date. But seems like even hand holding is too fast for some girls so i doubt this book is accurate. On the other hand this book was highly rated.

And then i had the last date where i tried to hold her hand on our date and she rejected it and things went kinda awkward after that.

I also dont know hiw often to show interest and hiw often not to show interest. Like this handholding girl told me she barely knew me and i was already telling her i liked her.

Purpose of looking for books is not to manipulate girls into liking me. Its to attract girls and maintain attraction especially when they already like me in the beginning. Unfortunately i dont know how to act on and after dates to maintain and increase this attraction because all books so far have misguided me it seems.