I am a mid 20s man. I live a nice life when it comes to upbringing, education and job, body. I have never been successful with women although there were women in the past who have liked me. Mostly the women that I liked didn't share the same feelings. Because of my mishaps I am less experienced in all matters love and romance compared to my peers. This and the fact I am a person who is highly developed in numeracy, but not so good in speaking and communicating in general has made me resent relationships and see love as nothing more than a transaction and much more a mathematical equation than a romantic novel. Part of me wants to never think of love again and then there is this part of me that wants to love a woman so much that I go in front of her house on February 14th and play a love song on stereo waking her up. It would be so easy if my cold robotic side was in 100% control then it wouldn't happen when for the 1% of time my romantic side takes over to feel extreme pain where I remember there is no one to play music on February the 14th that despite me being successful and on my way to the top % in most things that could be done by hard work and discipline I am not in the it seems 99% of people who have experienced love in their life.