As the title says, I (20M) going to be 21 tomorrow and her (20F) have been dating for almost a year (in 2-3 weeks times) and I am realizing that we’re more incompatible that I ever saw it to be and I’ve been glossing over it.

We are on completely different spectrum of libido levels where I am (I suspect) basically asexual it’s not something I look forward too and eagerly await when she is total opposite the absolute slightest sex mention is enough for her and it’s getting exhausting and I think it’s just a waste of both our times.

We’ve had discussions before and told me how she’s okay with it and the love is all she needs but I think she’s lying to herself because she has love (and I do too) but I see glimpse of her high libido everyday.

I politely reject advances 99% of the time and I always sense a lot of unhappiness even when she doesn’t mention it and I think it’s (unfortunately) feeding into her already existing insecurities. She’s had attraction related self esteem issues (and I’m sure constant rejection doesn’t help) and she has a negative notion about her libido. She thinks something is wrong with her but I reassure her that there isn’t and being on the higher side of the spectrum of libido is completely normal it’s just not me and it doesn’t make me more “normal” than her (I even argue that I think my lack of sexual desire is unhealthy) I don’t know why it’s like that I don’t have past sexual related trauma but I just have never been that mesmerized by sex.

Without asking for advice on how to break up (I’ll do that in a different sub feel free to contribute there too)

Some clarifications: It’s a SZA concert, I was never planning to go (she’s talked about this for months) she understands that I don’t want to spend the same amount of money on great seats for an artist I don’t listen to and she loves SZA so she wanted front row seats we both mutually agreed for both our enjoyments to have this arrangement.

For those suggesting I might have some hormonal imbalance. I appreciate the concern but I know it’s not that. It’s not that I don’t have urges and 0 libido we’re just night and day when it comes to it. I’m content with having sex once every 2 months but she would prefer it if it was every 2 hours. Nothing wrong with either of us I just don’t think we’re compatible in that sense.

Is this a bad time to break up? Should I wait?

Edit: I want to get her a figurine of a Minecraft cow would it be selfish to give it to her beforehand?