28M im on no fap for like year or two now. Last time i fully cummed was actually 13-14months ago, but i watch porn daily basis and i mastubrate using oil and cream but when i about to ejaculate i slow the process and stop flowing the cum out side, i usually do this edging and stop process mentally, therefore i can totally control my ejaculation as the way i want and i dont get premature ejaculation now. Simply i watch porn and i mastubrate but when i about to cum i hold cum inside by intentionally by my mind and stop flowing. I do this like for years now, i dont get the weak feeling or post nut feeling doung this, also no any weak or washed off feeliing on my personality too. I want to know is this a betrayal of the no fap? Simply no use of doing so?

Also when i have hype feeling of sex in the morning or at the night i simply sleep face down in my bed and push my penis towad the bed, then i can feel the same pleasure when i about to ejaculate but when the cum about to flow and feel like so i stop the cum from my mind. Its like im having the same pleaure but stop letting the cum flow. To do this i keep pushing my penis to bed while think dirty or watch porn. Is it bad and betray of my purpose? I simply cant stop thinking about sex no matterwhat i do. Im single and last time i got layed was years ago